As I write this, January is not yet fully over, but as I can’t imagine much changing between today and Monday, I wanted to get ahead on my thoughts about Dry January this year.

While I don’t want you to use where I’m at with my drinking as something to “measure” against your own habits, I think it can be helpful to hear about other people’s habits and reasons for why they take a month or longer (or forever) off.

(Before I go further, it should be noted that I am not someone who suffers from AUD, or other eating disorders. So I really don’t recommend my own thought process or approach for those in that scenario, this is more just me reaching out to share with those who may consider themselves like me—moderate drinkers.)

I’ve always considered myself a healthy, disciplined person. By that I mean, I’ve never been a restrictive dieter, I’ve always been good about balance, allowing myself to snack here and there, or have a dessert as a treat when I want it, while still focusing on nourishment. I’m really grateful for this trait of mine. If I’m not in the mood for cake, I won’t eat it, even if someone offers it. I’m someone who likes control over their lives, and this may be why I always liked to feel like I wasn’t powerless when it came to food. I could say no when I wanted and say yes when I wanted without feeling bad.

Alcohol came around, and I put myself in a somewhat similar category. I really only like red wine and a margarita here and there, so typically if someone offers me something else, I won’t drink. If I would go out to drinks at lunch with my family after tennis, if I was dehydrated, I wouldn’t drink because I knew I’d feel like crap. I’ve never been blackout drunk in my life, typically stick to drinking Thursday through Saturday, and while I would get more rowdy on the holidays or big events, I overall felt like that was letting loose more than losing control. And yet, when I began to date someone who doesn’t drink at all, I began to recognize this nagging feeling in the back of my mind, which made me realize I didn’t feel like I had complete control over my ability to say “no” to alcohol.

If I went out to a happy hour on a Tuesday night (pre-COVID), and I had planned not to drink that night, as I usually don’t during the week, I knew I wouldn’t be able to say “no” to just one drink as soon as I was at the restaurant or bar. I knew if I went to a party or shower, I wouldn’t be able to say “no” to wine. I knew even in more intimate settings, if a friend or family asked me if I wanted a glass and everyone else was drinking, I wouldn’t be able to say “no” either.

It’s not like I was addicted to the substance, but instead what I realized was how ingrained alcohol has been normalized into our society.

Alcohol is everywhere

I didn’t like that saying “no” to a drink was harder for me than saying “no” to a dessert. And as I began to read more and start my month of Dry January, I began to realize this wasn’t a “me” thing. It was a societal thing, and no wonder it’s so hard for people to quit drinking. Unlike smoking, where people will harass you about how bad it is for you, alcohol is something people will actually make fun of you for not doing. You’re weird if you opt out. It’s literally ethanol, the same stuff that goes into your car. (Yes, the same thing.) It’s a drug, like any other, and it’s one that can actually kill you from with withdrawal if you’re not careful.

Jen Batchelor of Kin Euphorics (who I have a major girl crush on) puts it this way—if you’re spending hundreds on fancy beauty products and all natural groceries, but then drinking it all down the drain on the weekend, you are spending a LOT of money to get to net zero.

And yet as Holly Whitaker points out, places like Goop will reject a product for not being “ethical” or all-natural, but then share a recipe on how to make a “healthy” cocktail.

Nobody wants to talk about how bad alcohol really is for us, despite the rising evidence, because just like the tobacco industry, there are businesses that want us to keep drinking, and it’s so easy to keep us doing it when it’s baked into every aspect of our lives.

Had a bad day? Drink. Got great news? Drink. Hanging with the girls? Drink. Nervous for a first date? Drink.

It’s everywhere, and what makes it so bad is how quick we are to call someone who doesn’t drink a prude, or assume they are weak and must have had a problem. (I’ve been these people.) If our best friend doesn’t want to drink one night while we do, we take it personally because it feels like their choice indirectly calls out something about our own drinking habits. And why not? Why can’t we call it like it is when we drink—say “I know this is a drug, and I’m choosing to take it.”

Maybe then we’d have less and less people suffering from AUD, because society wouldn’t pressure so many out of it by saying “just have one drink.”

The benefits of taking a month off

I’ve been on my soapbox, now let me share the benefits doing a dry month.

What a month off did not do for me is improve my sleep like I was promised or give me better skin (thank you monthly cycle!!). I was sort of expecting this slew of benefits, but instead, most of what happened was internal for me. (See the entire section above.)

However, I was a heck of a lot less anxious and in more control of my emotions in general. Alcohol can feed into anxiety in ways that isn’t immediately visible, but it tends to perpetuate when you’re coming down from drinking. Removing alcohol, which I previously thought could cut an anxious mood, ended up actually helping me be more chill, which was not a perk I expected!

Again, it also made me realize how alcohol is everywhere. This was compounded by the books I read too, which were eye-opening and I’ll recommend shortly.

Finally, taking a month off boosted my confidence. I wasn’t sure if I would have fun in social settings without drinking, but I actually felt quite empowered. It reaffirmed to me something I hadn’t believed since high school, that yes, you can be a fun person and laugh and enjoy company without the buffer of booze. Even better, I realized the added benefit that I can read or write or be creative after a social night because I’m not tipsy and totally useless. As a lady with a lot of plans for my future, this extra time back at night is so lovely, and part of the reason I plan to drink less. I love having that time after a social night to just relax and read or talk, and I love waking up feeling high on a social night without panicking about everything I said the day before.

What I drank instead

Previous years when I wasn’t drinking for Dry January, I found myself missing red wine during certain activities (cooking, watching movies) but this year I also came into the month far more prepared.

Since I had last attempted Dry January a LOT has changed. I wanted my boyfriend to feel more included during the holidays this year, so in November and December I began to order new drinks for us to try. (You can see some of what he liked in my Instagram highlights under “0%”.) What ended up happening though was that we both began to find tons to try, and it actually became this super exciting and creative space! I’m now genuinely eager to keep trying new options.

My current favorites

Ghia - Ghia is my first true love and introduction into the zero-proof drinking world. At first when I tried Ghia over the summer, I had no idea what I was doing. Now, I drink it with tonic water or ginger beer, or make one of their many cocktails with it, and it’s my favorite go-to. It’s bitter and herby, but can be sweet with tonic, or gingery with the ginger beer. I will never stop buying Ghia!!
Kin Euphorics - Kin was another early drink I tried and am now a regular subscriber. I think the nootropic drink is genius, and depending on what I’ve drank that day High Rhode and Kin Spritz both can make me feel warm, talkative, and outgoing. I love Dream Light as a night cap. It doesn’t send me to sleep, but helps me ease into bedtime.
Proteau Ludlow Red - This is my latest order and I am so obsessed. Created by John DeBary of Momofuku fame, these are non-alcoholic botanical drinks that look and act like wine, but don’t taste like it. Instead, they are this magical herbal mixture that changes flavor as it warms to room temperature. I’m obsessed, and kicking myself for not ordering more.
Curious Elixirs No 1. and No. 3 - I ordered these two, plus No. 5 (which is limited batch, and was not to my palate.) I loved No. 1. It reminds me of what I like about Ghia, with the botanical flavors, fennel, and pomegranate. I liked how easy it was to pour this and not need to mix it with anything. No. 3 was refreshing, plus had the calming benefit of ashwagandha. I wish these were sold as single servings or as large bottles with a cap is my only big complaint! It’s a pain to have a million little bottles all over the place.

Others I tried

Gruvi Dry Secco and Bubbly Rosé - I really liked both of these, though both were just a tiny bit too sweet for me. I don’t love white wine in general, but actually preferred the Secco to the Rosé. I wish they were in an actual wine bottle, but at the same time I do like the portability of them being in smaller bottles. I’d definitely buy these more if they were available in-store. Shipping is a bit expensive and you have to spend $49 to get it free.
Hella Bitters and Soda - These aren’t my favorite, but the Dry Aromatics are zero calories, sippable, and available at Whole Foods, so they’re easy to grab in a pinch.
Seedlip Grove 42 - Seedlip was the first of it’s kind, and the first zero-proof option my boyfriend and I tried together. (I tried Ghia over the summer.) Like many zero-proof spirits, it’s watery on its own, but added some depth to drinks. Not my favorite, but I like how readily available it is! Apparently other flavors are better.
Som Cordials - These are cane vinegar cordials that I’ve mixed with soda water. I really want to like them, but I’m no mixologist and have no idea what I’m doing, so it’s often just insanely vinegary and sugary. They’re good to have on hand to mix with things though, and probably wonderful mixed with other zero-proof spirits.

Options I’m hoping to try soon

As the month comes to a close, I suddenly have a million new options I want to try. I’m overwhelmed, but so excited. Here is my quick list of what I want to buy next:

Casamara Amara Sodas - These are called “leisure sodas.” Who wouldn’t want a leisure soda?
For Bitter For Worse - If it’s not clear by my favorites, I love bitter drinks. I want to try all three of these!
Spiritless Kentucky 74 - A female-founded company, this is said to rival whiskey. My boyfriend used to love whiskey, so I thought this would be fun to try.
SACRÉ - I don’t know what this is, but it comes so highly regarded and seems so interesting that I decided I need to try it.
Three Spirit - I like that like Kin, these drinks are trying to replace different social setting drinks. I think it’s so smart, and these seem like they’d be complex, herby, and very interesting.
Monday Gin - I don’t like gin, but I heard this burns like gin, so I am intrigued!

Recipes from Good Drinks

Julia Bainbridge, who wrote Good Drinks, is like the coolest person ever. I tag her every time I make one of her drinks because I want to be her friend. I’ve only made three of the drinks in this book so far, but it’s definitely worth grabbing if you want to experiment! My favorite two of the three taste more complex, like adult drinks would, but all of them are interesting!

The Bicycle Gang - This is like a creamsicle brunch drink. I did not drink it at brunch, which made it weird to drink during a movie at night, but it was delicious. Of the three it was my least favorite, but that’s due in part to the fact that I don’t love sweet drinks.
Yu the Great - This drink is filled with matcha, basil, lime, and coconut milk. It’s so refreshing and great with Thai food. It feels like a Thai margarita.
Cherry & Smoke - I love this drink for the same reasons I love Proteau. It acts like wine and has a similar body. It doesn’t taste like wine, but actually tastes closer than non-alcoholic wines do. It even stains my teeth!

What I read

Maybe the biggest impact on Dry January was all the reading I did leading up to the month and during it. Not only did I have more time to read, but I also read three books which completely reframed how I think about alcohol now, and I think you should read too (and even in the order I read them.)

Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington - This title defined how so many people are starting to feel about alcohol, and aptly describes my own mental state with drinking. Ruby Warrington really made more and more people feel okay for cutting back on drinking, and she also makes sure you’re not a totally sanctimonious jerk for abstaining. This is a great first read if you want to cut back or want to cut out alcohol altogether.
The Sober Lush by Amanda Eyre Ward and Jardine Libaire - This was my favorite book of the three, and perhaps it’s because both and Amanda and Jardine are creative writers, so I really connected with their poetic way of thinking about sobriety. There is a gross romanticism of novelists who are alcoholics, so I love how through their vignettes they just show the magic of living a life sans-alcohol. They make everything seem more beautiful, more worth living for, and marvel in the details of life. Their book comes with less tips than the other two or less jarring facts about the realities of alcohol, and instead just makes you excited at all the possibility in not drinking.
Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker - This was my most recent read, and it’s the one that made really wonder if alcohol is worth keeping in my life at all. I was surprised by this revelation to be honest, but when Holly goes into how alcohol has been marketed to women, how pervasive it is in society, how eerily similar it is to the tobacco industry, the more I began to see a future where I hardly drank, or didn’t drink at all.

What’s next

As January comes to a close, you may wonder what’s next for me. Will I drink again next weekend for my anniversary or raise a glass to Valentine’s? I’m not totally sure to be honest. There are so many new and exciting zero-proof options I keep finding, and I’m more eager to try those than a bottle of wine. I wouldn’t be surprised if I eventually do want a glass of red again, but I hope that when I do it feels intentional, and that I’m doing it because I have opted in, not just said “yes” on auto-pilot.

For now, I’m enjoying the empowering confidence boost of saying “no” just because and still having a great time.

Blog

My experiences with Dry January (and why I recommend it)