Fourth trimester favorites

One of my favorite things about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum is how universal an experience it is, and yet also how what works for one family may not work for another. Each journey is so unique, and yet we can all relate so much in spite of that! It reminds me a lot of how wedding planning goes. Suddenly you tell people you’re getting married and older couples will talk to you differently, almost like you’ve crossed a new threshold of life, and they’re eagerly beckoning you across. 

There’s a lot of emphasis on pregnancy and delivery in our society, but nothing prepared me for life after giving birth, which in my opinion is so much harder than the actual labor. It very likely is the biggest change in your life, because it goes from a gradual baby bump to a real, live person who has never existed before. It’s a shock, it’s beautiful, it’s the best thing to happen to me, and yet it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And while I fortunately have thus far avoided postpartum depression, I’ve had my bouts of baby blues and hormonal episodes like everyone else. 

That’s why I think it’s so important to talk about how to prepare for the “fourth trimester.” The movies show pregnancy and birth, and then those hard, long grueling weeks are forgotten. I think because it’s not represented often and truthfully (you can be in love with your baby and also miss life before and wish they cried less), it’s easy to overlook how important it is to prepare for this phase too. If I had prepared for postpartum the way I’d prepared for labor, I think I’d have been in a better place overall those first few weeks. Sure, they’d have still been hard, but I think I’d have been more okay accepting what they looked like—long nights, short days, a lot of sitting or lying down—I might have recovered mentally from this change better.

Or, maybe I’m just not great at dealing with change in the first place.

And if you are scared or don’t handle change well like me, know that if I could change anything, I’d go back and have my baby sooner and I can’t wait for our next one, that’s how great it is on the other side. Each new month is my new favorite phase. It really does just keep getting better, even if I don’t sleep anymore. You make it work and drink more coffee.

All that said, I’ve rounded up all the things we loved and used during the fourth trimester. Some of it’s practical, some of it’s fun—because having a baby is also insanely fun—and I hope you enjoy reading it the way I did when I was pregnant, counting down the days in excitement and also a little fear. 

Recovery

Adult diapers - Match your baby with your beautiful adult diaper. I don’t get why the hospital mesh panties were hyped. When coupled with an ice pack and pad you can barely keep the pad up and just end up waddling around holding onto your mesh underwear. Instead get these and if you’re petite/short consider getting the Frida Mom Ice Pads as well, which will be smaller and easier to keep on.

Frida Mom Peri Bottle - The hospital gave me a peri bottle which was essentially a ketchup bottle. This is WAY better and it seems like not essential to bring to the hospital since they provide one, but I highly suggest using this instead of the hospital one. 

Stool softeners and laxatives - Not a sexy recommendation, but take these ASAP and don’t stop for several weeks. My doctor approved doing both at the same time and if yours does too, it’s definitely worth it if that first trip is…tough. I didn’t have an issue with hemorrhoids, and either I was blessed or it was because I was very diligent about this.

LAKE maternity pajamas - These are great both during pregnancy and postpartum. I loveeee LAKE pajamas and without a doubt have spent a thousand dollars on them over the years because they hold up so well. Even if you don’t plan on breastfeeding, these are a great treat for yourself since those first few weeks you just wear pajamas non-stop. Due to the cotton they’re made with they never seem to feel “soiled” even if you’ve worn them for over a week without washing, which definitely was the case for me. 

Bodily underwear - I wore these when I was pregnant and loved them postpartum too! They’re buttery soft and made my core feel more held together in those early days. 

Hillhouse Nap Dresses - Postpartum weight loss is a contentious topic. There’s a huge tendency to pressure women to “bounce back” and then this equal counterpressure which is just as exhausting to “love the new body you’re in because it made a human.” I’m of the mind that I can give myself grace, be amazed at what my body did,  yet also miss my figure. For me, “bouncing back” from breastfeeding was a total myth and my body has really clung to the weight. It’s been slow going, and the number one place I’ve kept the weight is my breasts (duh) to the point where it’s becoming comedic. Nap dresses have been my saving grace both during pregnancy and postpartum because I’ve been able to wear my same size as my pre-pregnancy size. I truthfully don’t mind sizing up, but I also didn’t want to stock up on clothes I’d only wear for a short period either. Hillhouse Nap Dresses or anything of the same style are a perfect option because they’re so forgiving due to the elastic smocking. 

Dermoplast - Mommy Labor Nurse recommends the magical combo of Tucks + Dermoplast + ice pad and I must echo this. This combo brought a small joy to what was otherwise a less than pleasant bathroom trip.

Tucks - See above! You can just wipe your perineum with these, or leave them with the ice pad. 

The Sopranos - Just kidding. Any bingeable TV series will do here, though we watched the entire series on leave and it was well worth it. There were so many nights where I needed to stay awake to feed and TV was all that kept me up. It also made those late nights a little more fun and memorable, and weirdly something we’d look forward to when we’d wake at 3 a.m.

Breastfeeding

Before reading further, if you have any desire to breastfeed, I HIGHLY recommend you read this post on r/BabyBumps and prepare for it before your baby arrives. Breastfeeding has surprised me mostly in that I’m surprised thus far I’ve kept it up and that after the first few months it gets SO much easier. The idea of preparing a bottle is loathsome to me now and feels like a chore, but what that Reddit post shares is also true. The first month or so was ROUGH and because I knew that going in I was able to power through it. I can now enjoy how easy breastfeeding is but that was after an enormous learning curve for both me and my son!

Lactation consultant (via The Lactation Network) - As mentioned I knew breastfeeding would be a challenge before my son was born. It was probably the only thing I was educated on pre-delivery because I met with a lactation consultant in my third trimester who went through everything I needed to know in a two-hour meeting. At the time I felt it was excessive, but it ended up being so helpful for setting proper expectations and knowing what signs to look for. If you plan to nurse, I highly recommend meeting with a consultant before your delivery, then pestering the in-hospital consultant as much as you can, and after that visiting consultants or having them come to your home. If you can, ask for money for this on your baby registry because it is absolutely worth it. Fed is best, but if breastfeeding is really important to you, you need to approach it prepared because despite it being natural, it very rarely comes naturally to either you or your baby.

Silverettes Nipple Shields - I regret waiting so long to buy these. They are miracle workers. Any sort of balm or cream doesn’t hold a candle to these and is frankly a joke. These started to heal things almost instantly and now I wear them pretty much non-stop at home unless we’re going out. 

Willow Go - Breastfeeding is no walk in the park, and those first weeks really tested my desire to keep it up full time. But now that I’ve done it for several months, the idea of preparing a bottle of any kind seems like such a chore when I can just nurse on the go. So much to pack, prepare for, make sure I have enough of. Ugh. I also really hate pumping because it feels like breastfeeding where you’re tied to a wall, but no bonding. 

That said, I can’t be a human bottle forever and I want other people to participate in feeding, so I ended up buying the Willow Go to give myself more freedom while I pump. It’s not as powerful as a wired pump, but overall does the job well. I opted for the Willow Go because we don’t leave the house a ton (and we didn’t pre-baby), and so I just needed something more mobile but not totally invisible like the Willow 3.0. You do look like Dolly Parton wearing it though, and I’ve found after a few times using it I’m pumping about the same as I was with my Medela, it just takes longer.

Shoutout to the moms who exclusively pump because it is not easy! Even with a hands-free pump I’m over it after one session.

Hot Milk Bras - Everyone knows about the Kindred Bravely bras, and they’re good for their purposes (see below) but not very flattering. I use mine especially for pumping, but what I struggled with as a larger busted lady is looking cute and supported while out of the house. I resized myself using the A Bra That Fits quiz on Reddit for my new size and ordered four styles on Hot Milk to try out. I ended up keeping the Show Off and Ambition T-shirt bras, but it really will vary so much depending on shape, size, etc. that I would recommend the brand first and foremost and suggest trying out several styles to find your preference! It’s definitely not a “need” but if you miss the regular shaping and support of underwire bras, these are great. 

Kindred Bravely bras - A correctly sized and supportive nursing bra can make all the difference in pumping output, and it also just makes life a little easier for nursing too. I like the Terry Racerbacks for non-pumping use and actually delivered in one, and the Sports bra is so good I wish I had bought more than one. The Sublime is meant for pumping too, and I found it was really supportive of my Willow Go. 

Haakaa Manual Pump - I am going to give this a shoutout even though I’m too lazy to use it, but when I do I totally understand why it’s awesome. I was blessed by never leaking, so I didn’t think the Haakaa was for me because there was nothing to “catch.” But it’s pretty cool to see how when nursing one side you can passively collect milk on the other, even if you don’t leak milk. It’s great for the early days when you are nursing a LOT and want to build up milk for a bottle, but don’t want to add a pumping session when you’re already cluster feeding your baby every 50 minutes. 

A million water bottles - Everyone talks about how hungry you get breastfeeding but that never happened to me. Instead I just feel like every time I start to nurse I’ve never had water in my life and it’s all I can think about and then I pound a liter of water. I like Camelbaks because I can technically drink from it hands-free by biting on the straw and they chill in my fridge, but really anything will do. If you’re a Stanley Cup gurlie now is your moment. 

Oat snacks - Apparently this helps with lactation, but fortunately for me my love of granola bars and oats in general grew to a whole new level when I was pregnant and persisted postpartum. We always have Molly Yeh’s homemade granola bars around which are amazing for a quick snack when you become ravenous all of a sudden, and my mother-in-law’s granola recipe. I truly don’t know if oats actually help with lactation, I think staying hydrated helped me more, but I also loved Ambitious Kitchen’s lactation cookies and made them when I panicked on day five of postpartum because I was 100% certain I had no milk supply. (I did, thankfully!)

DockaTot Nursing Pillow - This is a more expensive nursing pillow, but I bought it because I thought it was both practical and cute to keep in our living room, and it was one less item to carry back and forth between rooms (if this sounds ridiculous, once you have a kid and lug items from room to room you’ll realize you will do anything to cut down the items needed for transport). I love how stylish it is and the velvet is really soft. I also prefer how sturdy the pillow is in general. The Boppy is great now that our baby is bigger, but I found at the beginning I liked how sturdy the DockaTot was. I use both daily and like them equally, but I wanted to shout out the DockaTot one since it’s not mentioned often and may meet someone’s aesthetic preference.

Copper Pearl Burp cloths - These are really thick and “nice” for burp cloths. We keep them lying all over the house and also in his diaper bag and it’s amazing how often we reach for them. (Another shoutout to my cousin for this recommendation!)

Nursery 

Nestig crib - I’m sure there are other great cribs out there that do similar things, but since we are masochists and didn’t get the Snoo, we wanted a crib that also would serve as a mini crib while our baby shared our room. The Nestig is not only beautiful, but converts into a full size crib and toddler bed! I also loved that each item was made-to-order so there was less waste overall. 

(Worth noting if you have a particularly tall baby they may outgrow this before six months, long before you may be ready to move your baby to their own room!)

Diaper pail - This is not a glamorous item on our list, but it’s a workhorse. I thought at first “why wouldn’t I walk to just toss the diapers in our main trash can?” but trust me, you won’t. It blocks the stank like no other.

Odin Parker music box - One item I never saw people recommend is a music box, and I can’t understand why! This was a 4 a.m. impulse breastfeeding purchase (one of many late night purchases that kept me alive. If you know, you know.) and it not only is a lovely little heirloom we can keep for Luca, but it makes diaper changes so much nicer! Early on Luca screamed a lot during every diaper change, but we still would play his music box to cheer him up while we changed him. Now we don’t “need” the music as much, but it adds some fun to a less-than-glamorous chore. (Thanks, Diego!) 

Calypso tapestry kit from The Fabled Thread - This is decor, so not essential, but I wanted something to work on while on leave that I could give to my son as an heirloom. I found this tapestry kit and am obsessed with it. It’s been so fun to work on and will look so lovely when it’s done in his room! 

Health and cleaning

Pampers Swaddlers - We tried every diaper out in the beginning to get a feel for what we liked, including the trendy Coterie, and I’m convinced these swaddlers are basically the same as Coterie for less. We also run through diapers so quickly, and did especially in the beginning, that relying on a subscription wasn’t worth it for us. I’m usually a sucker for a DTC, but in this case Pampers is what worked best for us.

Baby Aquaphor - Do yourself a favor and put this on your baby’s butt as soon as they’re born. Trust me when I say it’ll make cleaning those early poops way easier. 

Tubby Todd All Over Ointment - I ordered a Tubby Todd bundle early on in my postpartum days, then wasn’t too impressed and quickly forgot about it. Luca has sensitive skin like all babies, but it wasn’t so bad that I felt we needed much beyond Aquaphor. However, later I came to appreciate this ointment for what it was—a less oily ointment that keeps skin moisturized for a long time and can be applied to several different skin issues. I don’t believe any product is a “miracle” product, but since some things like cradle cap are exacerbated by petrolatum, I liked that I could apply this wherever without worrying I’d be making issues worse. 

FridaBaby Snotsucker - While I think everything from FridaBaby and FridaMom is fabulous, this snotsucker gets a shoutout because it’s so much more efficient than the usual baby nasal syringe, which is useless in comparison. 

FridaBaby Cradle Cap Set - Cradle cap didn’t set in for us until the end of month two or three, and I was absolutely amazed at how quickly this fixed things!

Puracy Natural Baby Laundry Stain Remover - Very quickly I realized that babies poop on their clothes a lot more often than I realized, especially when they are tiny and even newborn diapers are somehow huge. We did so much laundry in the beginning and this stain remover was truly magical!  

Clothes and accessories

Kyte Sleep Swaddle and Sleep Sacks - If it’s not abundantly clear at this point, I hate to buy anything twice, so I loved that Kyte sold sleep swaddles that converted into sleep sacks! They have so many fun prints, and I love how soft they are. They also handle stains really well, and let me say we’ve had them all—poop, pee, Aquaphor, spit up, etc. 

Carter’s zip-up onesies - Had I had a girl, I think my baby’s wardrobe would have been ten times the size of my son’s. Fortunately for my wallet, I didn’t, and that allowed me to quickly adapt to how often babies ruin your cute outfits by pooping or peeing on them because you haven’t mastered how to fluff a diaper yet or they’re a boy. We love the Carter’s zip-up onesies because they’re cheap and they have (duh) zippers! Really any zip-ups will do, but I felt less guilty putting these through the ringer because they were affordable, but not so cheap that the zipper would break. 

Quincy Mae - As Luca got bigger and we learned all the small ways to sometimes prevent a blowout, I felt more comfortable getting him some cute outfits for when we were out and about. Quincy Mae has my favorites for boys that are practical (I still really just like onesies because they’re so easy for diaper changes) yet stylish! We also like Gap and H&M for baby boys clothing. 

Transportation

Uppa Baby Vista - Yes, this is a luxury stroller, but it was my top thing I wanted and we use the HECK out of it. I feel confident I could off-road this thing with great success. In the beginning we used the bassinet exclusively then switched to the seat at a little over two months. I wanted this specifically so that it could grow with our family and fit two seats on it one day. It’s still one of my favorite things we own and I love all the ways it can be configured and adjusted to the type of weather for the day!

Nuna Pipa RX + Uppa adapter - I am pretty sure an influencer convinced me to buy this car seat, but I loved the look of it and it also is compatible with my favorite NUNA TRVL stroller, should we ever need to buy one. The way I see it is that all car seats must pass safety tests, so it comes down to style preference. We got the Uppa adapter with this which is so handy and I love how cross compatible these competing brands are. I also LOVE the Sky Drape that comes with the car seat. The car seat canopies for sale make me nervous because it looks like there’s no circulation for baby, so I like that this is a cover, but not hot boxing my baby in. It’s great for naps while we grocery shop or to prevent nosy people from peeping too close. 

Portable sound machine - There’s no right or wrong choice here on which brand to buy, but if you plan to travel and don’t want to donate your phone’s battery to being a sound machine, one of these is essential! We also used it on walks or car rides when Luca went through a phase of refusing to sleep on the go.

Solly Baby Wrap -  I knew I wanted to babywear long before I was pregnant, and had known about the Solly Baby Wrap since high school. I love it for how snug baby feels in the carrier. It does have a big learning curve, but once you get it down it’s a breeze. I also like that in this carry, baby is center on you, so you feel like you can fully use both arms.

WildBird Ring Sling - I got this ring sling at about six weeks and fell in love with it because it’s much easier to take on the go than the Solly Baby Wrap. I like it best for when we’re running errands and I decide mid-way to babywear, so I always keep it in my bag. That way you aren’t dragging the wrap all over the concrete outside or some random dirty floor to put it on. I also think it makes a great fashion statement. The only downside is that because of how the wrap works, you can feel a little one-sided and may not have the same full range of motion as both arms like you would with your Solly.

Baby Bjorn Mini - This is what I’d call our “outdoor” baby carrier. We use it for when Luca had a phase where he hated his stroller, and would swap to wearing him. It’s also the most user-friendly of the three, though in my opinion the least comfortable.

Dagne Dover Diaper bag - People will tell you “you don’t need a diaper bag” but I feel like they’re being the practical buzzkill parent when they tell you that. Because as one of those practical parents now I’m here to say they’re right! You can get away with a regular purse or even better, a car seat organizer. But I also wanted something my husband felt comfortable using, and we love the Dagne Dover Diaper bag for that reason. It comes with a changing pad, handles spills easily, and best of all it’s another place to store all the STUFF that comes with a baby.

Baby Bjorn Bouncer - This is a really simple seat to place your baby in whenever you need to quickly do something but keep an eye on your baby. It is super easy to transport and your baby can self-rock themselves in it as they get older. It was especially helpful in the early weeks whenever I was alone and needed to shower or use the bathroom, but now I sometimes use it just so Luca can keep me company while I cook too!

Lovevery Play Gym - The Lovevery Play Gym is not the most stylish option on the market, but as someone with a *lite* interest in the Montessori approach to education, I liked how thoughtfully this was designed. We have gotten a lot of use out of it, and I love that it comes with note cards that tell parents how to “play” with their baby depending on their age and use the play mat in different ways. I’ve just now subscribed to their Play Kits, but can’t speak to them in the first three months!

Slumberkins - Like my Solly Baby Wrap, I knew I wanted to get my kids a Slumberkins before I was pregnant—again, as early as high school! It was the first thing I bought for Luca before he was born, and at two months he was already snuggling and loving on it. It’s great because at a young age, your baby can hold it in their hands since it’s so flat. Plus it washes easy!

Books and apps

Precious Little Sleep - Sleep training, like all things parenting, is contentious. Some think it’s cruel, some think it’s essential. I think learning how to sleep is a gift I owe my kids, and if you want to sleep train and don’t want to buy an expensive course, this book has all you need to know. And please do yourself a favor and read it BEFORE your baby arrives. I can’t tell you how hard it is to try and read with a newborn when you’re already sleep deprived, though I did it, and Dubief’s corny yet relatable humor kept me going. 

Huckleberry App - Early on in the hospital you learn you need to feed your baby every 2–3 hours if they’re breastfed. I was doing this on a log sheet the hospital gave me, then downloaded Huckleberry when I got home. I know tracking stuff as a parent can seem overwhelming and really type A, but this actually is a godsend in our house and does so much thinking for us. I never have to think about how many diapers there were in a day, figure out when the next nap is, or remember which side I fed from last. Think of Huckleberry as an assistant or outsourcing for your family. We pay for the premium subscription so it tells us when to put Luca down for a nap based on wake windows, and the mental math that saves me every time is absolutely worth it alone.